I Don’t Know

Oh hi! I’m Jiggly. And it’s a Tuesday.

I said both on Sad Bois and in my predictions that May was going to be a good month for the Fire. That, apparently, was a lie. The Chicago Fire went almost a full month without a goal from April 13th to May 11th. Against a team playing a man down for most of the match, against the worst defense in the league, against teams that the Fire are just supposed to know how to beat. It’s pathetic, it’s frustrating. And we should’ve seen it coming.

This last game just really bothered me and I feel like I’ve got some things to say. Maybe I’ll feel better, maybe you’ll feel better reading it. But I feel like we just need to hear it said at least once.

I Don’t Know

When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time reading. I didn’t really have friends to go outside and do things with and since I alternated between behavior issues and academic issues, I spent a lot of time being grounded from going on the computer or watching TV. But I at least had books. And my favorite author growing up was Tim Green (sorry, Mike Lupica and Rick Riordan). I’m bringing this up because the thing that’s been nagging me the whole 2024 Fire season connects a lot into one of his most well known books: Football Genius. The story follows a kid, Troy, who’s a big fan of the Atlanta Falcons and is actually a pretty decent quarterback in his own right for his Pop Warner team. That’s because he’s so good at reading the game that he can actually predict plays before they happen. It’s been a while since I read it (it came out in 2007), but he says something to the effect of how it sorta comes to him like the play-art in a Madden game. He sees what the defense or the offense is going to do based on… I don’t really know. There’s no real explanation other than “He just knows.” The big conflict of the story is that while he is right every time, there’s just no way for him to prove it or show his work. There’s no “how” he knows the next play, he just does. And especially early in the book, there’s not much that he can ever do to really avoid what’s coming due to poor performance from teammates or the limitations of his own quarterbacking skills.

I’m not saying that I’m like Troy. We very clearly have seen that I’m wrong about a lot of things. But I think that all of us are sort of starting to feel like him earlier in the book as he’s watching the Falcons consistently walk right into whatever trap the other teams have lured them into. Frank Klopas’ tactics have been uninspiring and predictable, making the team’s performances just as predictable. It doesn’t take the soccer version of Troy’s ESPN abilities to see the framework of what will happen. Sure, it won’t be completely accurate, there’s hope and exaggeration that’s gonna affect whatever prediction that’s made, but we’re all pretty damn close to knowing what’s going to happen every time the Men in Red touch the pitch. And that’s not a good thing.

I can tell you pretty much exactly how the Fire will play on Wednesday. Not a specific score, but we know how they line up and how they react already. They’ll go out there with a defensive mentality, despite playing against a team that struggles to score just as much as the Fire do. It’s not to set up a counter-attack either, pretty much all attacks will usually lead to the same cycling of the ball around the box. The ball will routinely end up near the corner outside the box and whatever Fire play has the ball will, instead of attempting a cross, will try to cut back and run across the top of the box. This will then lead to either an errant shot or a pass to someone still outside the box with their back to the goal. On defense, there’s gonna be a lot of turnovers in the midfield that then lead to a scramble to get a minimum of 6 men into the box. This is not to create pressure and recover the ball, this is simply to attempt to scare the opponent into taking a shot that Brady can save. The Fire have played this way against the best and the worst in the league. It is unchanging to the point that it’s up to the opponent to either struggle with their own issues going into the game or tear apart that attempt at defense and take the opportunity to get a confidence boost.

With how predictable they are on the pitch, it’s not a stretch to look up at the offices and expect the same sort of predictability from the way the rest of the soccer side of the club is run. I’m pretty sure the average Fire fan that does their research and pays attention knows what the Fire should do, what they’re going to do, and what the results will still be. Because the formula to creating a winning team in MLS isn’t exactly a mystery. It starts from getting a key DP that can run hard, create their own chances, and score, getting another key DP with the technical ability to nail passes to that goalscorer and move the ball in the final third, and a third player that doesn’t even need to be a DP that is your defensive rock either in defense or midfield. You get some fast wingers on the sides, a tall center back that is a threat in the attack, and you’ve got yourself the makings of an MLS team that can win games. Have it put together by a GM and coach that not only have experience winning in this league, but have experience spending wisely in this league, then you are going to have a whole lot more than that framework I mentioned earlier. Sure, we may have a GM that has spent a lot of money, but it never feels like it’s being spent on guys that make sense for that money in this league.

But then we get to the absurd part which is that… we’ve kinda done a lot of this already. Just not well. Like, there haven’t really been too many surprises in the way that the team has been run over the past 4 years or so. I’ve said in the past that since bringing in Heitz, the Fire have lacked a core identity and I don’t even know if this is a cause or a symptom of that. Every time Heitz has re-tooled the team, it’s just a different iteration of the same things. A stud young goalkeeper that’s destined for better things, an MLS veteran who somehow falls off the moment he gets off the plane at O’Hare, and a striker acquisition that was completely misread by management. And as we’re getting to it in the summer, we’re going to hear a lot of “This is when we need to make some big changes,” only to see a whole lot of nothing happening. We’ll all tell ourselves that it’s just to make sure we have a clean slate for the offseason or maybe we had a two-game winning streak, but nothing has changed. Because we know what’s going to happen, I’ve been over it so many times. There’s a lot of things that have been done that look like good decisions at the time and “If the Fire can capitalize on this and this player does what he’s supposed to do, we will be a decent team.” And then that doesn’t happen. There’s no such thing as a sure thing, but there’s somehow a paradox in the way the Fire somehow keep finding a way to end up making it a sure thing that it doesn’t work out. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

So, what is it that I decided to write this week to try to get everyone to feel better?

I don’t know.

That’s the answer. That is what I’m here to tell you. I don’t know how the Fire keep doing this to themselves. I don’t know how any of this can actually be fixed without just a large group of players and executives forgoing much more rewarding situations and saying “Okay, I guess we’ll help fix the Fire.” And I’ll even be nice to those in the front office that I’ve been critical of by saying that I think they also are having this same thought. Every step the club takes is bad, even if it was the right decision when they first made it. It’s normal for a disgruntled fan base to feel like every decision made is the wrong one until things finally get better, but it’s just so weird that things still haven’t gotten better after this many steps. I don’t know how it keeps happening. I can tell you what keeps happening, I point out all of the warning signs, but I can’t find a cause or a way to prevent it.

In Football Genius, Troy was able to save the Atlanta Falcons thanks to the fact that his mom had some sort of corporate job with the team and also happened to end up in a romantic relationship with the star veteran linebacker. In a similar way that he could see the next play, but not really explain how he knows or what to really do about it, Fire fans are in a position where we know what the Fire are going to do, but can’t figure out why it’s happening or how to fix it. And unlike Troy, who got a cushy consulting job in the NFL and a new dad, there’s nothing we can really do about any of this. Protest? Sure, put up another banner next to the “Fix It, Joe” banner that’s been there since last season. Talk online about how you’re the most disappointed you’ve ever been? It’ll fit right in next to the 15 other tweets on the team’s hashtag or the replies under the final score tweet. It’s not like I’m immune to this behavior either, it’s pretty much all I do anymore.

But I at least feel like someone out there needed to hear this. That their confusion and frustration is validated. You’re not crazy. This is the same thing over and over again. And I truly don’t know what anyone can do about it anymore. And that’s okay. Not knowing things is a part of being human.

Miscellaneous Notes

Zach Attack. This is my first column since the induction, but I’m just so happy that we’ve got a new entry into the Ring of Fire and I hope to see a few more players be honored over the next few years. There’s still plenty of guys from those days that are more than deserving. Congrats to Zach Thornton.

The Cake Cup. It’s my birthday Saturday. There will be cupcakes at the tailgate. I hope that we don’t get annihilated by the Crew.

Drop G. I know it sounds funny when you hear it the first time, but this is very frustrating for me. I keep snapping the G string on my guitar. This is like the third time it’s happened.

Back In The Inn Again. I’m back to playing Baldur’s Gate 3 again. I’m doing a run as a wizard now, which means I don’t even have Gale in my party. It’s somewhat more peaceful now.

Song of the Week. I don’t talk enough about my favorite artist/songwriter, Jamie T. So here’s the bonus track “Kill Kill Kill” from his album last year. I love how his writing is the epitome of “Life sucks, but we move.” Waking up somehow still drunk from the night before, smiling because at least you’re alive.

I love you.

And I’ll see you next Tuesday